The Question

Today, I would like to take a moment and recognize all of those people in the world like myself who struggled with, and strongly disliked, a certain simple question.

I could usually see it coming. Well-meaning strangers, who had already covered the weather and other current unimportant categories of small talk, would generally follow with the question. They didn’t mean to be rude. They were simply trying to avoid one of those awkward silences, but little did they know they were about to create one. There would be a short pause and perhaps a quick glance at their feet as they shifted weight and searched for something else to say. I would try, I really would, to insert a question of my own into the conversation at this point. I was usually too late. Their faces would light up as they found inspiration down near their shoes and they’d look up to ask, “So, where do you go to school?” Perhaps it wasn’t the question so much as the reaction to the answer I wanted to avoid. You see, I was one of those kids. Yes, I was homeschooled.

After I informed them of my location of education would come the look. Uncertainty mixed with confusion as their feet suddenly became interesting once again. Common responses to my apparently abnormal answer included but weren’t limited too:

“Well that’s…nice."

“Oh." 

“Do you do school in your pajamas?”

“Do you like it?”

“I knew somebody who was homeschooled once.”

I always wanted to reply to that last one with “Small world.” It’s really not that rare of a phenomenon. It’s not even a phenomenon. (I apologize if you weren’t homeschooled and that last word had too many syllables.)

Homeschooling isn’t that rare, so why did people react like I’d just informed them that I was involved in a weird, secret club? (Granted, unless you were homeschooled you probably don’t understand that Saxon is equivalent to cruel and unusual mathematical torture, but that’s beside the point.) According to current research, homeschooling has grown to about 2 million students in the U.S. Count the zeros folks: 2,000,000. So why do people still look confused when they meet people like me? The simple answer? We blend in. Like secret agents. (Well, not exactly like them.)

Sure, the shy homeschoolers in matching and slightly (or more than slightly) outdated outfits are easy to spot, but people sporting an excess of tattoos and purple hair and are unable to identify the U.S. on a map, are generally easily recognized as a product of public schools as well. (Why are we balking at the former and accepting the latter as normal anyway?) Neither stereotype fits well for the majority.

           

I was never sure if it was a compliment or not that people told me I didn't seem like a homeschooler. (I’ve successfully acquired social skills, yay me!) The reality is, most homeschoolers look and act pretty much like everyone else. We don’t all have super long hair, like to match our siblings, and spend every waking minute studying for the National Spelling Bee. Before you go rolling your eyes at those that do, take a moment to glance around your own local school at the wide range of individuals attending. People come in all varieties.

Before you are tempted to ask about socialization, just don't. If he or she is talking to you in a public place, let's save everyone trouble and recognize that they're being socialized as you speak. You can even pat yourself on the back as you realize that you have contributed to the very important process of an introduction to mainstream society. Way to help the world out, one homeschooler at a time. 

If you do happen to ask a homeschooler about where they attend school, keep smiling after they tell you and ask what their favorite subject is, or something similar, just like you would anyone else. It’s that easy. Personally, I no longer mind being "one of those kids" and will probably make my future children face the same question. Perhaps by then though the general population will realize how widespread homeschooling is. At the very least, they hopefully won't be asked as I once was, "Is that actually legal?" As legal as ignorance and cheaper too.